I went into investigating the existence of the dead with as much interest in disproving it as proving it. This really gave me a good grounding which still serves me to this day. I was quite shocked as I watched others feel a breeze which on any other time would be classed as expected, only to see them feel out because they now put it don't to a ghost because it was late at night. As I write this I've still not SEEN a ghost manifest for myself with no doubt left. As I spoke about in a past post, I've seen a piece of evidence to make me question the known universal laws as they stand... Just not an apparition. But since I know people who have, such as Sue, and I trust them, that's almost good enough for me. Of course if I saw something directly, I'd have to reevaluate my ideas. It embarrasses me that I haven't seen something. I dread the question because I worry some will take my not having seen a ghost to mean there mustn't be such a thing. On the other hand, I've not seen a giraffe either.
The thing I find weird about myself is that I hear most people investigate to find relief in the fact there's life after death. But I would rather find out that there isn't. The thought of a second mediocre existence puts the fear of God into me. I think I'm drawn to the magic of the spirit. The whole being invisible and retaining memories after death. Being able to pass through solid objects while still having the ability to slap someone around the face. Awesome.